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As you may know, one of the most important things to a woman is how you make her feel both emotionally and physically.

If you can make a woman feel aroused by your touch, then she will see you as someone who makes her feel physically aroused and thus consider you as a potential lover. However, if you are too afraid to touch a woman in a flirting way, then she will often see you as “Just a friend”.

The reality is that - as long as you have sparked attraction - a woman will appreciate your touch and won’t see you as a sleazy pervert who just wants to ‘feel her up’ or ‘get lucky.’ Here are some tested examples to get you started.

Put Your Arm Around Her Waist: If a woman makes a joke or says something cool, be comfortable enough to put your arm around her waist and draw her closer to you while smiling/laughing.

Assume that the right amount of rapport and attraction is there to do this, even if you’ve only known her for a few seconds. Note: Don’t overdo this move. A couple of times in an interaction is plenty.

Fondle Her Earrings or Necklace: In the midst of talking about something, be comfortable enough to reach straight up and fondle a woman’s earrings while making a comment on how you like them.

Don’t hesitate, don’t get nervous and don’t use apologetic body language when you do this. Do it as her father would do and make her feel like your little girl. Brush her hair back a little and make gentle contact with the side of her neck and ear.

You will be amazed at how women respond to this. When you do it, notice how a woman will automatically assume more submissive body language and behavior around you for a few moments.

Note: This whole process of fondling her earrings or necklace should only last a few seconds. Don’t linger there too long, or she will pull away.

Give Her Chin a Little Squeeze and Gentle ‘Shake’: If a woman says something cute or submissive, look her in the eye, grin and gently grab her on the chin. Give it a little squeeze and shake like her father would have when she was a good girl.

Don’t do this with the sweaty palms of your hands! Just use your thumb and the length of your pointer finger. Note: This should only be done when you have sparked strong attraction and have started to connect with her.

Play Slapsies: Play hand slaps (slapsies)! This is the game where one person holds out their hands with palms facing horizontally to the floor and beneath the other person’s hands. The person on top then tries to slap your hands before you get them away.

It’s a fun little game and it helps to build fun and positive tension.

Break-Up Hug and Kiss: When a woman says something silly or stupid, reply with something like, “Look, this relationship isn’t going to work out. We’re going to have to break up. I’m taking the house and the dog. Come here, give me a hug goodbye.”

Be playful when you do something like this. It’s fun, especially when you’ve only known each other for a few seconds/minutes. Get her to kiss you goodbye on the cheek by pointing your finger to your cheek and saying, “Here!”

Hug For a Random Reason: If a woman is complaining and playfully seeking pity, give her an “Awwww” hug. If a woman tells you it’s her birthday, give her a birthday hug.

Push Her Away: If a woman says something silly or flirtatious, every once in a while you can playfully push her away with your hands. Shake your head, shrug your mouth and pretend as though you are ashamed of her.

Smell My New Aftershave: Point to your neck and say something like “Hey, smell my new aftershave. What do you think?”

When she has finished, ask, “So, do you wear nice perfume?” and then lean in and smell her neck without asking if you can.

Just brush her hair away from her neck and hold her in some way (arm around the waist, hand on bottom of back, etc).

So, there you have it. You’ve just read some highly-tested flirting tips for men, which focus around the subject of ‘touch’. As I said early on in the article, be sure that you have attracted a woman before trying any of the techniques. If you haven’t, you may be rejected.

Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.

http://www.themodernman.com/flirting_tips_for_men.html
http://www.themodernman.com/body_language.html
http://www.themodernman.com/

Thanks to our frenzied lifestyle that ensures that we effectively have a non-existent social life, online dating has become the in-thing. With remote chances of squeezing in clubbing and outings into our lives, we look to the Internet to find us dates. While online dating has become quite popular these days, it is extremely necessary that men tread the path with care if they wish to attract ladies. The following online dating tips for men will be useful in helping a man catch the attention of the kind of ladies that they would like to date.

Truth pays:

The primary online dating tip for a man is to be truthful while starting a relationship and later too. It is easy to lie online but keep in mind that sooner or later your lies will be uncovered and that could well be the end of the relationship. Though the temptation to pose as someone attractive can be great indeed especially in case of Internet dating where faking a personality is no trouble at all, this is the last thing you should do.

Once you are branded a liar, even your truthful assertions will be taken for lies. So, as they say, honesty is the best policy. Sticking to this online dating tip for a man will ensure that you have a fruitful relationship. At the same time, it is also possible that the girl you are dating may not find your true personality or other aspects appealing enough in which case it would be better to break off at that very point without causing each other hurt and misery than later on in the relationship.

Coming to the next online dating tip for a man, it is important to supply your recent photograph for your portfolio and not that, which was taken years ago. Your photograph is what your date will come to know you as and when you meet face to face later on, the girl may be shocked to see a different you and may be really put off at your lack of uprightness. This could really put you in a spot because whatever you say after that will be taken with a pinch of salt.

Move ahead with care:

A very important online dating tip for a man is that he should allow the girl sufficient time and space before broaching the subject of a first real date. Do not rush her at the very outset, before she gets on a comfortable level with you. And when she is finally ready to meet you, give her the comfort of selecting the meeting place. An essential online dating tip for a man in this respect is to spend the first date and even the next few ones, if possible, trying to know and discover each other. Do not be overbearing or brazen so as to make her feel edgy or compel her to consent to anything that might put her off including walking her home.

Perhaps the most effective online dating tip for a man is to slowly win the girls trust, which is a very vital aspect of any relationship and needs to be done with care. Be a gentleman and allow her to know you better so that she may trust you enough to invite you to her place or go over to yours. So, take your time and allow the relationship to blossom gradually.

While there are differences between online dating and real time dating, the basic rules are the same. Being honest to each other and putting in sincere effort to slowly nurture the relationship into a successful one are the fundamentals in both the cases.

Rohit Chopra has written several useful articles on Dating, Adult Dating, Online Dating, Dating Service, etc. Get more useful information on Romance and Dating Tips at http://www.romance-dating-tips.com

Someone looks at you ‘funny’ or speaks to you with ‘that tone.’

And you start thinking: How dare she treat me that way. Who does she think she is? I don’t deserve this.

You cringe. You feel yourself flushing. Anger starts creeping up. Wow, it doesn’t take any time at all for her look to set you off. One minute you’re ready to explode. The next, you just want to crawl into the nearest hole.

“Ohmigawd, I can’t stop myself. I’m out of control. Where on earth did this reaction come from? How can this be happening? How can I be behaving so badly?”

And before you know it, you’re taking it personally.

Here’s how we take things personally:

* Assuming there is intent even when there isn’t.

* Taking things the wrong way, as a personal affront or put-down.

* Believing people are taking sides - for you or against you.

* Getting upset when other people don’t see things the way you do.

* Feeling hurt or slighted or insulted or wronged or attacked.

* Taking something as a personal failure - feeling blamed or blaming yourself.

Think about it this way: when we are taking something personally we’re feeling rejected in some way.

When you are able to get some distance from it, you realize your knee-jerk response is all out of proportion to the other person’s behavior. But in the moment, when you are feeling dissed or attacked, all you are able to do is defend yourself.

How how NOT to take things so personally:

Take some distance from it: You can train yourself to dis-entangle from the uncomfortable situation. By recognizing your own rejection triggers, and noticing how you react, you’re giving yourself some distance.

* Take time-outs: Creating enough distance can slow down your over-reactive response. Taking a “time out” works great. Breathing slowly while counting to 10 is one kind of “time out. Excusing yourself and going into the kitchen to get a drink of water is another.

* Identify your blind spots: Getting some distance involves recognizing your blind spots. How can you change something if you are unable to see it? It’s a lot easier to change behavior when you’re aware of it.

* Ask yourself these questions:
“Might I be taking this personally?”
“What part of me is feeling rejected, judged or criticized? ”
“What am I telling myself?”
“Is this an old message? ”
“Where did it come from? ”

* Then, walk alongside yourself: What do you notice about your reactions? This “naming” and “noticing” opens up space for making choices about how you want to deal with rejection.

* And it gives you choices. You don’t have to continue down the same path once you realize how you got there. You CAN choose to back up to that fork in the road and change direction. Success comes a step at a time and with practice.

* Finally, try to put yourself in the shoes of the other person. What might they be thinking? How might they be feeling? Once you can get out of the center of your own orbit, you won’t feel so much like a target.

Usually whatever was said or done to you says more about the other person and their fears than it does about you!

Trouble is, we tend dwell on it. We replay what the other person said. We attempt to guess what they meant. You really can’t read their mind. Guessing is never as efficient as checking something out.

Ask them if you think you heard them say is what they meant. You may find out your perception is different from their intention. And that’s a good thing.

Consider how much energy you will save if you don’t have to dwell on the interaction to try figure it out. Asking saves a lot of time and energy.

Copyright Elayne Savage, PhD

Elayne Savage, PhD is The Queen of Rejection(TM) - communication coach, professional speaker and author of ‘Don’t Take It Personally!’ and ‘Breathing Room-Creating Space to Be Couple.’ Find useful tips for dealing with rejection and not taking things so personally at http://www.QueenofRejection.com.

Domestic abuse is all too common in the world. In almost 20 percent of all marriages in the United States, couples push, shove, punch, pull, hit, or otherwise assault each other.

Emotional abuse,threats, intimidation, humiliation, insults or degrading remarks and controlling,dominating behavior is common. The good news, however is that help is available through psychological and family counseling.

Younger couples are most prone to abuse and violence, and, without intervention, it often escalates in intensity or frequency. Shoving or pushing is the way most violence begins in young marriages.

Spouses frequently ignore early abusive events and rationalize that once the current problems are over, the abuse will end. In spite of the tendency to rationalize away these incidents, its important to remember that even minor acts of violence often escalate over time. This increases the risk of injury and physical harm.

There are various forms of abuse and marital violence. Frequently, a husbands controlling behavior is the wifes first sign that she may be in an abusive relationship. Controlling behavior is often a crucial red flag.

The husband may try to prevent her from visiting or talking to friends or family. He may try to make her feel guilty or afraid if she chooses to engage in separate personal activities or spend time with friends.

Increasing social isolation combined with the infliction of verbal or physical assaults can strengthen intimidation and control. Under these conditions, over time, a woman often feels like a prisoner in her own home.

Abuse takes different forms in relationships. When angry, the husband and wife will often slap or shove each other or call each other insulting names. Often, they are more concerned about their egos, winning rather than losing or not losing face than the abuse itself. Also, most importantly, neither spouse views themselves as being the victim of an abusive relationship.

However, even intimidation and humiliation that is not part of the typical controlling or frightening relationship causes horrendous problems. They can destroy the relationship, lead to legal problems, physical and emotional injuries and have long-term devastating effects on the helpless children who have to witness it. Counseling and psychotherapy can provide valuable help in situations like this.

How can I get help if I am in an abusive relationship?

Remember, domestic violence is a crime; therefore, one important way to get help is to call the police. Your first response must be to protect yourself and your children. The police must be your first line of defense where your physical safety is concerned.

If not in immediate danger, you can also call your local United Way, battered womens shelter, community crisis line or community family services agency. They will let you know which services are available to you and how to access them.

Most communities have spousal support services and and an available battered womens shelter where you and your children can stay. If the violence has not escalated to the point that you fear for your safety, but you recognize that your arguments are not healthy and want to prevent them from destroying your marriage, there are additional options available to you.

Chances are that your community has anger management programs that can be found through your local United Way or community mental health agencies. These programs focus on teaching you the skills to resolve conflict and to handle anger constructively. Support groups found through the same resources can also help you maintain a commitment to living in a nonviolent household.

You may also need to participate in marital therapy. Marital therapists implement expert treatment plans to teach strategies for resolving conflict appropriately. When looking for a therapist, tell him or her about the violence in your relationship and ask about the type of experience and training he has in working with such cases.

Through marital treatment provided by a professional counselor or psychologist, you will be given the tools to eliminate abuse, constructively resolve conflict and improve your relationship. Also, if you decide to leave your relationship, a therapist can help you and your children cope effectively with the resulting changes and trauma. The psychologist or therapist can help you develop your strengths and improve your coping skills.

What to do if a Relative or Friend is in a Violent Relationship

If someone you care about is the victim of a violent relationship, be sure to let them know you care for their well-being, regardless of whether they stay or leave their spouse. Women often stay in violent relationships because of the mistaken assumption that they cannot make it without their partners.

Battered women often feel isolated because they are embarrassed and have no one to talk to with about the abuse. If you notice any injuries, depression or anxiety gently inquire about what is happening and listen with compassion and without judgment. If your friend decides to go for help, make her aware of the resources for battered women in your community and accompany her if necessary.

Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo, Woodstock and Lake-in-the-Hills. He provides day and evening appts and accepts all insurance. Call 1 847 516 0899 or learn more at: http://www.carypsychology.com

Brides are very specific when they choose the events that lead up to the wedding. Tracking wedding responsibilities is a difficult task unless brides use computer software to help them. Many events can be managed at one time through various files on wedding planning software and the bride can concentrate on enjoying the pre-nuptial events instead of being stressed to the point that nothing seems to go as planned.

The bride is not alone in her efforts to track wedding responsibilities. The groom can access the software and enter all of the appointments that the Groom and groomsmen have made every day and the daily reminders will ensure that the Bride is kept up to date even if the Groom is incognito for several days of the week. Tracking wedding responsibilities through software programs allow couples to keep wedding costs within a set spending budget.

Events such as wedding showers, wedding dinners and wedding fashions can all be accomplished on time with the help of wedding planning software. Tracking wedding events allows Brides to notify others in the wedding party when rehearsals are planned and when bridesmaid dresses are ready. Brides can communicate through emails and confirm floral arrangements with the local florist. The bride can also place this information on a personal webpage so that all wedding participants have access to the same information.

The matron of honor will appreciate the wedding planning software when she coordinates the responses received from guests who were included on the wedding invitation list. The guest list will be used early on to track wedding responsibilities like catering costs, place settings needed and wedding favors that need to be ordered for every guest that attends the wedding and the reception. The bridesmaids might be tasked with tracking responses for showers planned in the near future and from that total, refreshments can be planned and party games can be organized.

With the use of wedding planning software, brides have all types of information close at hand. Relatives that live out of town will need directions to the church and reception and tracking when those informative tidbits are sent will ensure that everyone arrives at the church on time. The bride can use personal information to ensure that the wedding party receives the correct sizes when dresses are ordered through an internet retailer. Without that wedding planning software, there are so many little bits of information that could be lost or forgotten about.

Tracking wedding responsibilities might require extra time on someone’s part during some evenings because businesses are unable to confirm some things until the last minute. Every person in the wedding party might have one tasked left to accomplish and can convey those answers to the bride using email systems installed on the computer that connect with the wedding website. Brides will have information to ensure every guest receives a thank you card after the honeymoon because while tracking wedding responsibilities for showers, ceremonies and the reception, the bride also had time available to annotate which gift came from which wedding guest.

James Brown writes about http://www.weddingplannerdeals.com