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The most frequently asked question from single men is how they can get the attention of available women, and most particularly the one woman they find themselves crazy about. The one that has no idea of his feelings or romantic interest.

Certainly, there are superficial, materialistic women in the world that are more focused on a man’s wallet, profession and possessions than his heart and character. And these women tend to align themselves with what I’ll politely term “the highest bidder.”

But do you really want to consider THOSE types of women as prospects for your heart? There are thousands of beautiful, intelligent young women that are looking for solid love and commitment; a man’s bank balance, job title or industry connections are NOT their top priority. These are the women you should focus on.

So let’s get started by examining something that should be obvious…

(1) Women Are Not Men and Have Different Needs. What this means in dating is that women, when looking for a partner, have different selection criteria than men do.
Men are very visual creatures and often feel that if a woman is physically attractive to him, that she is Ms. Right.

Women typically look for a man that is honest, stable, confident, who makes her laugh, and who can engage her mind with conversation and her emotions by touching her heart. As long as a guy is not a turnoff, she is usually open to conversation with him. And this openness provides you with an opportunity to make all those things happen!

(2) Negative Behaviors Should be Avoided or Eliminated. I’m sometimes horrified at the gaffs men make when attempting to develop a woman’s romantic interest. If you want a female to find you attractive and to consider you as a possible boyfriend, there are some things you absolutely positively must avoid:

o Arrogance. Being a know it all, a stuffed shirt or expressing negative opinions about her attire, opinions, hair, friends, family, or hobbies/interests is a major no-no. If she thinks you disapprove of her in any way, why would she want to have you in her life? This does not mean you have to agree with every position she takes, but take care not to put HER down even as you express your controverting opinion.

o Poor Hygiene. Brush your teeth, wash your hair, and clean underneath your nails. Keep your hands clean, and shower at least once per day. There is nothing more of a turnoff for women than smelling a man’s underarms or feet.

o Inappropriate Conversation. Some men are just uncouth cads, make sure you don’t fall into this category. Cat calling at females from your car while driving down the street — NOT. Making comments about her body or how horny you feel are insulting and rude. Talking about your ex repeatedly or asking overly personal questions about her past romances during early conversations are guaranteed ways to put her off and TURN her off.

(3) Positive Behaviors to Focus On. Over the past 15 years I’ve talked and interacted with thousands of women around the world about men and their dating or long-term relationships. And there are six key behaviors that women have repeatedly requested or “wished” men would demonstrate.

o From the most beautiful creature to the most plain, from the pre-teen to the senior citizen, you must take care to treat all women with kindness and courtesy. Women closely observe how a man interacts with and treats other women, especially those in his family and those he has no sexual interest in. You can get big points or knock yourself out of the running quickly by ignoring this top guideline.

o Truly listen to what she says and openly share information about yourself. Women develop emotional closeness with those they have rapport with; rapport is built through frequent exchanges of conversation. Show an interest in what she says, where she goes, her dreams and aspirations, and the stories she shares about her friends and family. Remember her favorite color, flower and the name of her dog. Tell her your stories and let her into your life.

o Be a man of your word. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Responsibly follow through on things you promise to do. Broken promises cause sadness and disappointment. And a woman that feels sad and disappointed in you is not likely to want to put herself in the position of needing a man that is flakey and undependable.

o Engage her mentally. Even if you are shy and have to memorize stories you read on the Internet, surveys, study results that relate somehow to her lifestyle or interests, or your thoughts on politics and stories in the news, strive to have something interesting to talk about. If you can be witty and make her laugh, that’s icing on the cake! Women love to be around men that can find the humor in life’s many situations and lift her spirits when she’s down.

o Demonstrate confident decisiveness. Nothing turns a woman off more than a man who is weak, needy or fearful. Always stand up for yourself and command respect. Have a plan for your life and for any date you take her on. A woman cannot fall in love with a man she does not respect.

o Many men don’t know when to stop joking and playing around, and come across as an unintelligent and immature. Making jokes about her weight, age, figure, or thick ankles are definitely in that category. Giving some off the cuff answer when she asks you a serious question is a mind-game that no one will appreciate. There is a time to joke around and a time to be serious; and there is a time to just listen and let her vent, and a time to offer suggestions and your help. Stop for a minute and consider her feelings before you do or say anything you’ll later regret.

When a woman wants a man to love, she picks him with an eye to the future. A stellar reputation as a fun loving guy who is a gentleman to all women and a man of his word will have women talking about you in positive ways.

Such respect and admiration will bring you dozens of opportunities to meet and interact with attractive single women, one of whom just might be your Ms. Right!

Deborrah is a dating expert whose columns appear on http://www.askheartbeat.com. Also author of the dating guide “Sucka Free Love” and the host of an Internet radio talk show on http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/askheartbeat, which airs on Wednesday nights at 7:00 pm (PST)

Looking back to when you first met your marriage partner, you remember the friendly smile. Your heart raced with excitement as a nervous energy tugged at you. The warm fuzzy beginning of the relationship, and the momentous occasion that ushered in your marriage, may still linger as a fragrant memory. When you think back to the best wishes of family and friends, the expressions of love you gave each other, you remember that you wanted to be together forever.

This heartfelt sentiment is what motivates couples to work toward saving their marriage. Here are five marriage characteristics that can help you stay together.

Commitment
A sucessful marriage characteristic that couples have in their relationship is a willingness to be committed to work through problems. Instead of looking for a way out of their marriage, they have an untiring commitment to work things out with each other, compromising and finding common ground where they can agree. They understand that in a relationship no one will see eye to eye on everything.

Listening
The ability to listen to your partner, beyond just hearing with your ears is invaluable to the success of your marriage. It is listening with a tender heart to your partner concerns, desires, hopes, and dreams without being critical and judgemental. Listening to your partner, makes him or her feel what they are saying is important to you. They will be more likely to share with you their fears, frustrations, and anxieties in an atmophere where they are listened to. This successful marriage characteristic can bring about intimacy on the deepest level in your relationship.

Spontaneity
It is important to break the monotony of marriage by doing something unexpected from time to time. It could be the simple act of senting flowers, or taking the time to write a note expressing your love. You could invite your partner to a walk in the park, to a free
outdoor concert, or to an art exhibit. The unplanned pleasure of being together, can add freshness and excitement from the daily routine of your life. Couples who have fun and enjoy each other, find their lives together more pleasurable. Some occasional spontaneity, some kind of spark, lets your partner know that you are not taking them for granted. Interjecting some spontaneity into your marriage is a great way to have an element of surprise.

Resolving Conflict
There has to be a way to resolve conflicts in a marriage that the couple finds satisfactory to both. A couple who develops the ability to resolve conflicts has acquired a successful marriage characeristic that is esential to the survival of their relationship. There is no one way of resolving conflicts which works for everybody. Couples have varying personalities and styles of working through differences and problems. Some prefer to talk things through until they reach a conclusion or simply run out of things to say to each other, agreeing to disagree. Others agree to compromise and work toward reaching common ground and satisfaction to where the problem is no longer a issue. And then there are couples who argue angrily with intensity about almost everything on a frequent basis. For them, this way of resolving their conflict works. You have to discover what work best for you and your partner.

Romance & Enthusiasm
Romance creates the passion in an intimate relationship. If you think back to when you first met, their was a surplus of enthusiasm that sparked your romantic feelings for each other. A partner who is made to feel desireable by the enthusiastic pursues of the other partner is less likely to be dissatisfied with their marriage. Romacing your partner makes him or her feel attractive to you. It assures them that they still ignite a feeling of desire in you.

For more information please visit http://www.mrmarriagesaver.com. You can also read our other topics such as how to stop a divorce at our website.

Your wedding is one of your most important days in your life. Your life will change after marriage. In the past you are single and you will have a spouse after your marriage. You will have your own family after your wedding. This is why your wedding is so important. It is really a turning point of your life. As a result, you would like to make this turning point unique and romantic.

So the question here is how you can plan for a really romantic wedding. In fact, it is not really easy to do so. You have to make your wedding memorable. As a matter of fact, your wedding will never be romantic if you know that you will be in debt after your marriage.

As a result, you should plan for your wedding budget carefully. You will first of think about your total budget. That is the total amount of money you are willing to spend for your wedding. Then you have to divide your budget into different parts. You will try to estimate how much your will spend for each part of your wedding. By creating a detailed budgeting plan, you can make sure that you will not spend more than you originally plan to spend. This will also help to ensure that you will have enough money for your honeymoon. There is no point to ruin your honeymoon planning just because you want to make your wedding romantic.

In fact, most couple will agree that financial pressure can probably be the most important problem they fact when they are planning for their wedding. Of course you can try to settle everything by using your credit card beforehand. However, you should always remember that you are only trying to get a loan when you are using your credit card to pay. If you fail to pay off the amount you have spend within the grace period. The interest can be a real burden to you after your wedding.

As a result, you should also refer to your budget when you are making decisions on your wedding. You should always consider the prices and costs carefully before you make your decision on any wedding item.

There is no doubt that the budget is the most important when planning for your wedding. Yet there are a lot of other details you need to consider in order to make your wedding really romantic. The most important aspects to this end will probably be your wedding reception hall and the decorations of it.

You will need to find a reception hall which provides the romantic atmosphere. The decorations will also play an important role. Yet the time you are having your wedding is also important. It will certainly be more romantic if you are planning for a winter white wedding. To this end it will be perfect if you can find a reception hall which provide both indoor and outdoor spaces. Although it can be very cold when you are having some activities in an outdoor space, it will certainly be something romantic.

So, be prepared to have your wedding in a cold weather if you would like to make your wedding more romantic.

Jerry Leung is a wedding invitation designer. He has a great interest in Chinese Style Wedding Invitations. His works can be found from http://www.983wedding.com. His personal blog is http://www.weddingabc.net and some other wedding vendors can be found from http://www.imarry.org

Marriage is a legal relationship that changes the legal status of both parties, even though it starts out as a personal and emotional commitment. Thus, we see the prenuptial marriage contracts that may come into being between two people that supposedly have undying love for each other. If the legal rights or obligations are not set out in writing, many marriage partners often do not know their rights.

Persons who have decided to obtain a divorce have basically two procedural avenues available to them. The two options are an uncontested proceeding or a contested proceeding. If there are children and the couple has accumulated assets during the marriage, do not be surprised when the divorce seems to turn into a long drawn out and frustrating process. Remember, lawyers are normally paid on an hourly basis.

No matter what you do, the children will be forever affected by the divorce, however amicable it may be. Of course, the nastier things become, the more the children are exposed to the ugly side of a marriage break-up. Depending on the ages of the children, they have probably already picked up the animosity between the parents towards one another.

In some cases, a child will adopt, perhaps unknowingly, that animosity one parent directs at the other parent. In the best or even uncontested divorce settings, where both parents seem to get along and not argue too much, the children’s emotions will still be pulled between their parents.

When people end up going to court, the losing party is almost always unhappy and they are often prone to look for ways to violate the letter or spirit of any judgment made by the court. They may even be justified in that the court may have been in error. Such as giving custody to a parent that has mental, drug, or criminal problems. But remember that the court has the last say concerning custody issues and child support questions.

Child custody can be quite a hotly contested issue. It usually is one of the most contested and highly emotional issues in a divorce, leading to a multitude of arguments and disputes that can span many years after a divorce is finalized. Child custody is one of the most sensitive and emotional issues in the divorce process.

Legal child custody refers to your rights as a parent to make decisions about your child’s health, well-being and education. Primary physical custody refers to your right as a parent to have the child living in your home. Then a preliminary child support amount can be calculated, but not necessarily agreed upon.

Often there are many issues with respect to the information required to be considered. Many parents believe that child support should somehow be adjusted to account for time the child spends with one parent or the other. After all, they reason, when the child is with that parent, he or she is in charge of meeting the child’s needs and if the non-custodial parent has the child for an entire week in the summer, there shouldn’t be any child support being paid for that week.

However, this is the wrong assumption. It doesn’t matter if the non-custodial parent spends one day a week or 7 days a week with the child, child support is not affected. Child support is a set amount that only fluctuates when it is increased or decreased by the court. The amount of time each of you spends with your child does not affect support payments, unless you have a complete change in custody, or go to a shared parenting plan where you each have equal time with your child.

The way you share medical, educational, and other expenses also does not change based on your parenting schedule, and if you are the one that takes your child to the doctor and the other parent is the one who is responsible for medical costs, he or she should reimburse you for the expense.

Gerald Costa has gone through the divorce and child custody process. I put together an ebook to help those that have to go through a divorce where child custody will become an issue. Find out more Family Law, Child Custody and Custody Battle information at http://www.secretsoffamilylaw.com

Several years ago I read an article MEN’S HEALTH Magazine which reported that couples who live together first are most likely to NOT get married. The studies further concluded that when cohabitating couples married, they were statistically more likely to divorce.

In college I thought that living together was probably a good idea. We’d both get the opportunity to “see how things worked out” and save money on both rent and utilities. But I’m older now and have a lot more life and relationship experience under my belt. And after spending two decades observing people’s relationships, I’ve come to realize that living together doesn’t do one positive thing for a couple or their relationship. Living together is not the path to a happy, long-lasting marriage.

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly of Cohabitation

Carolyn is an administrative assistant at a major corporation in downtown San Francisco. “There’s a guy on my job now who is shacking up with his fiancee. He doesn’t seem to be as enthusiastic as he was when they weren’t living together. I wonder how that’s going to turn out?”

Regina reports that one of her best friends is experiencing this now. “She and her man have been together 3 years, living together for 1+, and she’s ready to marry. He’s not. Why should he be, he’s got it all right now! What’s the paper going to mean to him? Now, she’s ready to lower her standards (of wanting to be married before she has children, yada yada) and have a child with him (of course with the stupid notion that maybe this will help the relationship move toward marriage. I want to say to her “HELLO! IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN. And if it does, do you really want to look back and feel that you had to trap your man into marriage?)!”

Erlinda is a recent college graduate and witnessed “move-in mania” amongst her friends.

“I wouldn’t move in with a boyfriend unless I had a ring and a date. Even then, it would only be a few weeks before the wedding. If we’re getting married toward the end of the month, I would move in at the beginning of the month, but not before then. From what I’ve seen in these shacking up situations, all a woman gets from “playing house” is taken advantage of!”

Older Couples May See Things Differently

Nick and Virginia have both been married and divorced, so the concept of marriage is not a new issue for either. “We’re comfortable and happy and in love” Virginia reports.

“Some of my friends think I need to go on and marry him to catch him, but Nick is already mine! They don’t understand that though. Children are not an issue. We’re both in our early 50s and neither of us can have anymore children. We only have my high school age children with us - his son is almost an adult. So there is no ‘having his baby to catch him” syndrome going on here! The best I can tell you is this, we choose the way we live and we are happy with it. If in the future we get married, we will be happy with that too.”

Should Women Should Avoid “Giving Away the Milk?”

Very often men opt out of marriage after a period of cohabitation. In theory, it appears to be a great solution. However, I feel the better plan is to resist that desire to marry/live together too early and instead, spend time learning as much about your partner as possible before making such a major commitment. Unfortunately, I see many people in relationships and marriages simply to avoid being alone.

The likelihood of marrying takes a nosedive when a couple shacks up. For one, marrying would seem anticlimactic, because seemingly little if anything changes, hence the urgency to marry goes down significantly or even disappears.

Also, if you’re not married, it’s easier to leave the relationship over petty matters. No matter what cohabitating couples say, the commitment of marriage is not the same when a couple shacks up.

David is a 29 year old fireman, and looking forward to the day he marries. “If I feel committed enough to want to live with the woman I’m with, I will buy the ring and ask her to marry me because obviously I feel she’s the woman for me to spend the rest of my life with. Proponents of shacking up will say that if a couple shacks up and doesn’t get married, it’s good that they found out they weren’t meant for each other before they walked down the aisle. To that, I say: if you can’t determine that the person you’re with isn’t someone you can grow with for the rest of your life just from dating them over a period of time without living together, you’re either not very perceptive or not ready to marry anyone at all. My parents have been married for over 26 years. I long to have a marriage like that, and won’t settle for less.”

My Vote: Get Married or Leave it Alone!

I believe that only certain people with a fear of giving themselves over to a commitment would agree to living together. Those fears are what brought the couple into the shacking up arrangement and what keeps them from advancing to marriage and the reason they prefer a situation that is fun and convenient, but also disposable and easily replaceable.

Their attitude of “let’s try this and SEE IF IT WORKS” is a recipe for failure. When a couple approaches marriage with this mindset, what they are actually doing is not taking the time to see if marriage will work and what they need to do to make it work, but instead seeing if it their little setup will fail. They are taking the path of least commitment and setting things up so they can get the benefits of a marital commitment with the least amount of commitment and damage.

Maturity, realistic expectations, an ability to negotiate and compromise, commitment, common values and morals, sharing of resources, and honest open communication are key to any long-term relationship, whether living together or not. You can find out all of these things about your potential partner through dating and conversations - you don’t need to reside under the same roof to find out what you need to know!

When a woman wants marriage and settles for shacking up, she has already lost the battle and her man’s respect. She did not stand up for herself or what she believes in as she chooses to just go with HIS flow.

Things are only going to go down hill from there.

A couple that truly believe in the sanctity of marriage would find no value in living together and therefore would not make living together or having families, buying property etc. without the legal, emotional and spiritual protections and commitments to each other of marriage a lifestyle choice.

Deborrah is a dating expert whose columns appear on http://www.askheartbeat.com. Also author of the dating guide “Sucka Free Love” and the host of an Internet radio talk show on http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/askheartbeat, which airs on Wednesday nights at 7:00 pm (PST)